This coming year I need to get my priorities in order and I know that a fresh perspective will do the trick.
Only six things on the list but these are very important to me. It means that no matter how hectic school gets, I need to spend one on one time with the Spirit. I need to stay connected to the vine or else everything else on the list will just crumble. It also means that homework and studying is more important than spending time with my boyfriend. Actually he’s had a rough time with adjusting to my life but he knows where my priorities lie and I know that in his own way he does support me.
This list makes it seem like he’s not important but on the contrary: he is a big part of the end to which these means are meant for.
So now that school is over, I’m going to be staying up late for none-noteworthy reasons. Namely, watching movies, catching up on tv shows and tumbling in the wee hours of the night. This is critical because I tend to generate the most outlandish and colorful ideas during these settings. Wouldn’t hurt to document and share a few thoughts here, right? Well, here goes…
Why is it so difficult to write down my thoughts? Not even just writing them down but just explaining them, verbalizing them. Maybe it’s because a lot of my thoughts are feelings, pictures, memories, sounds, smells and they aren’t made up of words. I mean right now it’s easier because I can edit what I’m writing. (See, I just edited it right now. I’m adding this little blurb.) But when I’m in a very delicate conversation where I can’t hit a “backspace” button while I’m talking I’m pretty much screwed. Because I word vomit a lot. I just vomit a bunch of words that sorta kinda resemble what I’m feeling and hope it makes sense to the listener. Yeah…that doesn’t work so well. But oh well.
You know what I need? A good dose of eloquence. Yeah. Can someone get me that for Christmas pretty please?
It’s crunch time! Only the O-Chem final tomorrow is left. To be honest I am so burnt out toast ain’t got nothin on me lol I guess this time around what’s keeping me going is a phrase that the dean of Stanford medical school told me.
"Strive for excellence."
I really took that to heart; applying it to every aspect of my being. Right now I’m sleepy, I’m tired and I haven’t showered today (haha don’t judge-it’s finals week!) But I’m not accepting any excuses from myself. I’ma git this!
Today I realized that the biggest thing getting in the way between me and my goals is…(drum roll)…me. It’s true. It’s a humbling thought, but it was a huge “ahaa” moment. It was me who gave up on myself and it was me who didn’t think I could do it. It was me who told myself I was too tired to keep going. I don’t let others discourage me, why should I let me discourage me?
I have 3 names. They all have unique origins and not many people know that they all exist. Not a single person in my life has used all 3, not even my own mother. No, it doesn’t mean that I have 3 separate identities or personalities. I just have 3 names.
This is my nickname. My family, church family and family friends know me by this name. My downs syndrome cousin came up with it when my mom was pregnant with me. My mom’s name is Milet and my cousin would pat my mom’s belly and try to say “Little Milet”, but because of his speech impediment it sounded like “Mitmit”. Mitmit turned into Mits, which turned into Mitsy.
My full name is Doan Sashael Chalmas Olojan, so Doan is the first part of my first name. My dad came up with it by putting my two grandmas’ names together. My mom’s mom was Dora (“Do”) and my dad’s mom is Anita (“an”). Put them together and you get Doan. My classmates from Minnesota and coworkers in California know me by this name.
This comes from the second part of my first name, Sashael. My dad conjured this one up from my grandpas’ and God’s names. My dad’s dad is Saloy (“Sa”) and my mom’s dad was Shalos (“sha”) and one of God’s names is Elohim (“el”). Only my classmates and school friends in California use this name for me. Personally, it’s my favorite of the three.